"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
"
-Lana Turner
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. "
-Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "
-Jim Carrey
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. "
-Steve Martin
-Lana Turner
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. "
-Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "
-Jim Carrey
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. "
-Steve Martin
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
"
-Mark Twain
-Mark Twain
"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
"
-Hedy Lamarr
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a
second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
"
-Albert Einstein
"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. "
-Buddy Hackett
"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "
-Jerry Seinfeld
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. "
-Elbert Hubbard
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "
-Mark Twain
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
-Rodney Dangerfield
"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. "
-Warren Buffett
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”
- Will Rogers
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
- Steven Wright
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
- Jackie Mason
”Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”
- Oprah Winfrey
”Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.”
- Christopher Marlowe
”Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”
-Franklin P. Jones
“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
-Hedy Lamarr
-Albert Einstein
"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. "
-Buddy Hackett
"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "
-Jerry Seinfeld
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. "
-Elbert Hubbard
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "
-Mark Twain
-Rodney Dangerfield
"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. "
-Warren Buffett
"A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know."
-Laurence J. Peter
"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. "
-Bertrand Russell
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
"
-Margaret Mead
"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
"
-Charles M. Schulz
"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "
-Lily Tomlin
"One man's folly is another man's wife.
"
-Helen Rowland
“Men marry women with the
hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will
change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
-Laurence J. Peter
"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. "
-Bertrand Russell
-Margaret Mead
-Charles M. Schulz
"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "
-Lily Tomlin
-Helen Rowland
- Albert Einstein
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”
- Will Rogers
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
- Steven Wright
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
- Jackie Mason
”Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”
- Oprah Winfrey
”Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.”
- Christopher Marlowe
”Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”
-Franklin P. Jones
“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
